Have you ever thought about how many self-limiting beliefs we hold on to even though they don't serve us? Have you noticed how many self-limiting stories we tell ourselves on a daily basis?
Self-limiting beliefs are the assumptions or perceptions we have about ourselves and the way the world works. They are "limiting" because they do not let us see the reality of our own selves and the world around us. The more we hold on to these beliefs, the more we are holding ourselves back from realizing our goals.
"I am not good with people." "I can't speak in public." "They will only like me if I do as they say." "I am not good-looking." "I am not as good as them." "People don't like me." and so on.
These are some of the self-limiting beliefs that I told myself: Until one day, Gurudev made me take a hard look at myself and see the person I had become. A person I no longer identified with.
I had become anxiety-ridden, nervous, and extremely self-conscious. These ideas no longer served me. The so-called ideas I held on to made me a person I disliked. My relationship with myself deteriorated to the point where I no longer valued my own needs and desires. I readily molded into any person that others expected me to be.
I became an obedient daughter for my parents and a devoted wife for my husband. I became a sincere subordinate to my superiors. Being obedient, devoted, or sincere is not an issue. The problem is that these versions of myself did not emerge from a place of happiness in my heart; rather, they emerged from fear, self-doubt, and a deep-rooted desire to please others.
They were the fruits of seeds planted in my mind, intentionally or unknowingly, by painful experiences in the past and other people who wanted me to be a certain way.
Everyone laughs from the heart until they are told their smile is not beautiful. Everyone likes to dance and sing until they are told they are not good at it. Everyone trusts and loves from the heart until they are given reasons why they shouldn't. Everyone speaks their mind and heart until they are told not to. Each one of us has the power of intuition until our instinct is stifled. Each one of us has wisdom from many past lives, but we learn to mistrust it and look for direction and validation from outside.
Spending my time with Gurudev opened my mind and heart. It made me look within myself and not outside to know my worth and capabilities.
Gurudev said,
"You don't need anyone to define you. Not your parents, not your husband, not your children, not your career, not anyone. Look within and know yourself. Ask yourself, "Who are you when all this is stripped away from you?" Who were you before you became a daughter, wife, mother, or other label that you put on yourself? Know yourself, and come out of self-pity and the stories you tell yourself. develop a vision, set a goal, and work on it. God has blessed you with incredible talents; it will be a waste if you don't put them to use."
How do we overcome self limiting beliefs?
Gurudev has taught me that the first step towards fixing your limiting beliefs and ideas is to become aware of them.
If you become aware of them as they arise, you will become their witness, and you will be able to see them for what they are!
The next step is to not act on such beliefs or ideas when they arise and to remaining alert and present without giving way to your interpretations, judgements, or prejudices.
Once you develop the habit of simply witnessing your beliefs as they come and go, they will become less and less powerful with time before they completely disappear.
With time you can start challenging such beliefs by taking up one task at a time. If you are afraid to speak in public, actively look for activities that involve public speaking. Continue to give yourself the exposure you need till you no longer fear it.
Moving from limiting beliefs to liberating beliefs
With the blessings of Gurudev, I am cultivating liberating beliefs, instead of limiting beliefs. followings are some of the beliefs that I remind myself daily.
I am no longer afraid of taking a space in this world, which I rightfully deserve.
I will go after what I want, even if it involves the risk of failing.
I fully trust my capabilities and talents.
I don't have to be perfect. I love myself nonetheless.
There is nothing that I cannot learn or unlearn if I put my mind and intentions to it.
There is nothing wrong with vocalizing my needs and prioritizing myself.
My sense of worth arises from within and not from other people.
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