Since time immemorial, the search for genuine love has been a key theme in writings, songs, and movies from all over the world. Human minds are wired in such a way that we understand very early in life, without having to be taught, that true love is something we cannot live without. Therefore, everyone, young or old, has a yearning to find their one true love.
Being a true romantic at heart, I grew up believing everything the rom-coms said about love. When I first experienced heartbreak, I soothed my broken heart with Taylor Swift songs. However, such was the allure of that age that no amount of heartbreak could quench my desire to find the one perfect human being who would finally complete me.
After experiencing the ups and downs of young adulthood and failing to find the one "true love," I entered an arranged marriage at the age of 25. My husband is perfect in almost every way imaginable. He is gentle, kind, loving, and devoted. He is, in essence, a gem of a person. But here's the catch. He is only a human being.
While most of us may not admit it, our greatest desire, as I understand it, is to be known, understood and accepted for who we really are. We seek the fulfillment of this desire in a romantic partner. Unsurprisingly, our partners also share same desire. We are all looking for fulfillment in other people.
What happens when two beggars cross paths holding empty bowls?
They can never fill each other up.
After being married, I realized that, while marriage is one of the most beautiful things in the world, it did not provide the inner fulfillment that I longed for. I naively believed that when I finally met the ideal human, my search would be over. But it did not. My bowl remained empty even though my husband gave me everything he had.
It was only when I found my Guru, I experienced the greatest romance I've ever known. However, it is a romance that transcends the usual physical attraction and bodily wants that we often misinterpret for love. It is a connection that goes right to the soul.
The amount of love he has for me far exceeds anything I can possibly offer in return. He has always taken ten steps in my direction for every one I have taken towards him. My joy, pain, accomplishments, and failures are all his. He accepts everything as his own. He sees through me to the deepest thoughts and intentions of my heart. He knows exactly what I think and what I desire. Despite the fact that he lives thousands of miles away, he is always by my side. His love pervades every aspect of my life.
He has guided and protected me in the same way that a father would. He has guarded me in the same way that a brother would. He has taught me things about the world that only a mother or older sister could. He has treated me with love and compassion, as a lover would. As a best friend would, he has supported me and patiently listened to my problems. He has allowed me to care for him in the same way that a trusting child would. So, it is possible to say that He is everything to me, including my mother, father, best friend, and lover.
I believe it is only by his grace that I am able to realise his enormous love for me in this life.
Gurudev says he enjoys making people cry. He says, it is the most sincere emotion a person can express. My eyes well up with tears at the mere thought of him. I cried when I was united with him. I have cried when he chastises me. I have cried when he encourages me. I have cried when I have missed him. I've cried when I’ve prayed to him. I've cried when I'm angry with him. All of the tears I've shed for him have only brought me joy.
I have come to understand that the perfect, unconditional love that we all long for cannot be fulfilled by imperfect humans. Only someone who is flawless and whole within himself can fulfill us. Gurudev is the fountain through which we receive God's love. Human love is intended to mirror this love. Our longing for love can be somewhat satisfied by it, but not absolutely. In human love, there are unspoken expectations, possessiveness, and jealousy. A relationship with Gurudev, however, is devoid of any.
Gurudev's love is unchanging, perfect and always seeks the highest good of his beloved. I live with a sense of confidence that there is nothing in the world with the power to separate me from Gurudev's love. There is nothing in my present or future that can weaken his love for me.
Gurudev's love has not only satiated my lifelong longing for love, but it has also opened up my heart to love and accept all his children. Unlike the relationships I have in the outside world, which bind me, my relationship with Gurudev has liberated me, even from my own self.
My journey with Gurudev has only just begun, but my bowl is finally beginning to fill.
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