THE STORY ABOUT GURUDEV'S ENTRY IN MY LIFE
It is said when all is lost, then all is found.
It was the first day of the first month of 2021 when Gurudev talked to me for the first time. It remains fresh in my memory as if it had happened just yesterday.
I returned home from not so pleasant visit to my mother's place. The new year had only begun, and life was already weighing me down. I remember feeling many things at once, but the feeling of defeat stood out the most. I have achieved so much in my life so far. I have a job that remains a dream for most people. I am married to a great guy. My marital home gave me more freedom and comfort than my parent's home ever did. But, why wasn’t I happy then? What was that I was missing? I questioned myself. In a state of despair, something deep within me urged me to do something that seemed unlikely until now. I was ready to try my last and only recourse.
I walked to and fro in my room with the phone in my hands and jitters in my stomach. After communicating my intention to talk to Gurudev, I patiently waited for his response. He finally agreed to speak to me. I did not know why I was reaching out to him; I just knew I needed to. I thought about potential topics that I could discuss and questions that I could ask him. Little did I know my whole life trajectory was about to change forever!
As Gurudev’s first few words fell upon my ears, my thoughts receded into the background, all my questions disappeared, and my mind went completely blank. I was a silent listener for as long as the call lasted, except for my continuous sobbing.
It’s hard to describe what I experienced in that hour-long phone call. All the joyous moments in my lifetime fell very short compared to the bliss I felt when Gurudev dispelled the dark clouds that hovered over me with his wise and penetrating words.
Our conversation occurred when I dealt with certain medical issues which remained undiagnosed despite various medical testing and had not responded to any treatment. Gurudev explained that my symptoms were manifestations of extreme anxiety and stress I was laboring under. He said, "Dear, you carry so much burden on your shoulders; please lighten it. Do away with your worries, or they will slowly destroy all your organs. Surrender all your worries and tensions to Gurudev, and just be!"
What had transpired during that phone call was surreal. This man on the other side of the phone call, who I had never met and who I was speaking to for the first time in my life, somehow knew everything about me. My logical faculties could not fathom it. He knew about my childhood, fears, failings, desires and even the things I was unaware of.
As tears rolled off my face, I was at a loss for words and struggled to express myself. Gurudev reassured me compassionately, saying, “I know, I know.” I knew that he wasn’t simply saying those words. He did know all of it. I felt an eternal connection with him at that moment. It felt like he had always known me from this life and beyond. At that moment, I had complete faith in him. It's hard to believe that someone from thousands of miles away could make you feel so many things at a time, that too on a phone call! He was indeed not an ordinary man!
I cried profusely throughout the phone call. I didn't understand why I cried and what it meant. With every tear trickling down my face, I knew the weight on my shoulders was slowly lifting. I knew that I would be healed. I knew that lifelong yearnings of my soul, which I was unaware of until now, had been satiated. I knew that each and every happening in my life, good or bad, had been leading me toward that very moment.
That day, first time in years, I slept through the afternoon like a baby who had been nursed.
And thus, began my journey with Gurudev.
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