Most of our waking moments are spent on mundane tasks that we repeat over and over again, almost robotically. At the same time, some moments have such a profound impact on our psyche that they completely alter the course of our lives. This moment occurred in my life in the latter half of 2022 when my faith was extensively tested by the universe. My hitherto uneventful life was shaken to its very foundation, and everything came crashing down around me.
The events of 2022 had left me so traumatized that I would have flashbacks to them even after weeks. I was so stressed out I developed a digestive disorder. For a long period, I couldn't get adequate sleep. Gurudev continually reassured me that nothing bad will happen to me. He would say, “Meera, leave everything to me, I am taking care of it”.
Despite his reassurance, I could not be helped. He finally said one day, "Meera, if you have a solution to your problem, act on it. If you don’t have any solution, raise your hands and leave it upon Gurudev.” I heard him, but my anxious mind still was unmoved.
One evening, I sobbed uncontrollably until I was unable to cry any more. Then, I sat down on my bed and wiped my eyes. I glanced at the blank wall in front of me. I had done all I could think of. However, the tides were not turning in my favor. How much longer could I stay miserable? Something had to change, I realized.
The next thing I knew, I was doing something I'd never done before. I surrendered. I closed my eyes and prayed to Gurudev. I prayed, raising my hand in air,
"Gurudev, I can't do it any longer. As you can see, I'm not up to the task on my own. You take it from here, Please”.
Something radically shifted after that evening. I felt considerably lighter and could see much more clearly. My troubles remained, but they did not worry me as much. From then on, I found myself helping myself. I started each day with positive affirmations. I started meditating and praying whenever I felt stressed. I painted every day to relieve stress.
Gurudev seemed to be working his healing powers on me. Previously, my anxious mind had prevented him from helping me. Soon enough, the difficulties that had been bothering me began to resolve themselves. I gradually got to the point where I wasn't even concerned about the outcome of my situation. Issues that had kept me awake at night and agitated me out to the point of illness no longer bothered me. I didn't care what happened in the end as long as Gurudev was there to support me.
I shared my feelings to Gurudev after a few weeks. "Meera, every prayer works," he said.
“Every prayer that echoes from every nook and cranny of your being is always heard."
He continued, “A child does not understand practically anything when he is born from his mother's womb. But he is aware of a presence that continually watches over, feeds, and loves him. As the child grows older, he recognizes that presence as his mother's. The child completely trusts his mother and has given himself over to her. The mother also loves her child and will go to any length to protect him or her. On one side, there is utter submission, and on the other, there is unconditional love. Our relationship with God is similar. ”
“God created us and put us on this planet. However, we have forgotten him. A mother knows everything there is to know about her child. Similarly, God knows everything about his children, but we play games with him. We never strive for him; instead, we strive for prosperity, health, security, happiness, fame, and pleasure. We never consider him one of our own, our one true friend. We pray to him for the fulfillment of our selfish desires, but we never think about having a genuine relationship with him. And we are perplexed as to why our prayers are not being answered!”
“Suppose you have a friend or a relative who is only interested in money or any comfort you can provide for him. How would you feel when you discover their real intentions? Imagine how god must feel when we treat him the same way. We assume he will not see through our lies and deception. And we are perplexed as to why our prayers are not being answered!"
"First and foremost, we must recreate the bond we once shared with him. We are a part of him. He's the one who has brought us here. Our devotion and surrender to him must have the same emotional intensity as a child has towards his mother. Only then your prayer will be heard. "
This entire experience made me reflect on how phrases like "surrender" and "prayer" are frequent in our language, yet we are blind to their significance. The word "surrender" is thought to have a negative connotation -an act of admitting defeat. On the contrary, it is one of the most empowering action requiring tremendous strength.
Surrender and prayer, I've learned, go hand in hand. Without surrender, there can be no prayer. A prayer that does not include surrender is simply expressing a desire. We must be willing to yield our will to god when we pray. He will hear our prayers if we pray with faith and real intent.
In the chapter 4 Sloka 11 of Bhagwat Geeta Shree Krishna says to Arjun,
“ye yathā mām prapadyante tāms tathaiva bhajāmy aham..”
Here lord Krishna declares that in whatever manner they surrender to him, in the same way, he rewards them.
When confronted with life's difficulties, I had forgotten that my Gurudev and the divine mother are ever-present with me in all my joys and sorrows. I have nothing to be afraid of. When I prayed, I was reminded of our relationship and their undying love for me. The act of "prayer and surrender" is so powerful that pleasure and sorrow become insignificant, and awareness awakens inside. It is the realization that neither pain nor pleasure are ultimately important. They are temporary. However, the relationship we form with god is the only thing that will last and transcend this world.
Comments